Cover Letter #847

Re: Editor/Copywriter Job

Dear HR,

I enjoy adapting client-provided copy and I am
fully prepared to pad, slash, amplify, contour,
warp, finesse or mechanically debone any such
text which does disservice to the honour of said
client’s own brand. I intend to do this using the
most advanced methods known to modern
para-phraseology — all the while preserving
the original author’s ego and erstwhile intent.

Of course, I can also write original copy in
‘voices’ so inspired that actual angels have
been known to descend from on high and to
alight upon the shoulders of any whose eyes
or ears were fortunate enough to encounter
my words. And, obviously, in terms of voices,
I’ve got ‘megalomaniacal bastard’ down pat.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I should
confess that I often don’t actually laugh out loud
while typing LOL in response to an e-witticism.
I won’t deny it. It would have come out anyway;
if not during our correspondence, then certainly
at some point during my long and distinguished
career with your firm.

Sincerely,

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