Category Archives: Humour

Erwin’s Choice

  If only Schrödinger had used a rabbit instead of a cat and made it a story about his possibly pregnant wife. Then everyone would get it.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Esoterics, Humour, Life, Reason, Science

Mark

Mark, mark him well… the unremarkable scientist who makes a set of marks so as to measures other marks he’s made, as well as ones he’s yet to make. He makes remarks about the marks he’s made and upon his making of them. Twice he measures everything… everything worth measuring. From here to there, and then to when, and even nothing — if he can. Nothing is remarkable.

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour, Life, Reason, Science, Words

@peace

the universe seems so at peace with itself

yet it’s not necessarily tranquil;

great suns a’roiling set metal to boiling,

you’ll melt just as sure as your tank will;

in the grip of a hole, unfathomed and black

is everything stripped to its neutrons;

with masses colliding! — and big bangs subsiding…

but it’s all just like G-d clipping coupons

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour, Life, Peace, Reason, Science, Words

How Many Wives?

Dialogue excerpt between US tank corpsman ‘Waco’ Hoyt (Bruce Bennett) and Sudanese Sgt. Maj. Tambul (Rex Ingram) in Columbia Pictures’ classic 1943 war flick, Sahara, featuring Humphrey Bogart as American tank commander Sgt. Joe Gunn. Directed by Zoltan Korda…

Waco: The boys up top tell me you Mohammedans have as many as 300 wives.

Tambul: No. The Prophet tells us that four wives is sufficient for a true believer.

Waco: Why four?

Tambul: The Prophet says that one wife makes a miserable life because she always gets bored. And two wives make a mess of your life also. They always quarrel and you never know which one is right. And three wives are bad, too. The two always take sides against the third. But four wives makes real happiness.

Waco: How?

Tambul: Two and two are company for each other. And the man, he has his rest.

Waco: That sounds all right. You’ve got four?

Tambul: No, I have only one.

Waco: What’s holding you back?

Tambul: If you had this law in your Texas, would you have four wives?

Waco: No. My wife wouldn’t like that.

Tambul: It is the same with me. My wife, she would not like it.

Waco: You sure learn things in the army.

Tambul: Yes, we both have much to learn from each other.

3 Comments

Filed under Arts, Conflict, Humour, Life, Love, Peace, Reason, Words

übergethunkt

How do people who always go the extra mile ever get to where they’re headed?

2 Comments

Filed under Humour, Life, Reason

Cover Letter #847

Re: Editor/Copywriter Job

Dear HR,

I enjoy adapting client-provided copy and I am
fully prepared to pad, slash, amplify, contour,
warp, finesse or mechanically debone any such
text which does disservice to the honour of said
client’s own brand. I intend to do this using the
most advanced methods known to modern
para-phraseology — all the while preserving
the original author’s ego and erstwhile intent.

Of course, I can also write original copy in
‘voices’ so inspired that actual angels have
been known to descend from on high and to
alight upon the shoulders of any whose eyes
or ears were fortunate enough to encounter
my words. And, obviously, in terms of voices,
I’ve got ‘megalomaniacal bastard’ down pat.

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I should
confess that I often don’t actually laugh out loud
while typing LOL in response to an e-witticism.
I won’t deny it. It would have come out anyway;
if not during our correspondence, then certainly
at some point during my long and distinguished
career with your firm.

Sincerely,

Leave a comment

Filed under Economy, Humour, Life, Reason, Words

Riddle 31

Old widow Peabody was mortified when, in making an adjustment to the time on her precious grandfather clock, she inadvertently snapped the minute hand in two. A friend recommended an antique shop that carried all the parts for the same model clock. She visited there but returned disappointed. Why?

Leave a comment

Filed under Humour, Reason