Category Archives: Humour

The Search for a Cure Continues

LIFE: A chronic, ubiquitous, ailment about which we actually know very little. Doctors generally advise that it be allowed to run its course, even though death is to be expected in 100% of cases.

While scientists agree that more research is the answer, billions of dollars are already expended annually to combat the rising tide of infection — trillions, if military applications are included.

Some researchers, citing the OPPC (ounce of prevention vs. pound of cure) axiom, maintain that prevention is the only viable strategy. However, that argument is rejected by those who contend that any such program could risk the pre-emption of an individual otherwise fated to discover the elusive cure.

The World Health Organization predicts that the number of people afflicted by the condition will soon rise to seven billion.

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The Lawyer

gregory, a man of words

and of them never short

a barrister of barristers

he hypnotised the court

but at his home in lancashire

the legalese still flew

so sadly realised his bride

that words were all he knew

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the reclusive intellect

~

here sits an intellectual man

who rests alone in thought

not bothering with other souls

and looking quite distraught

he deftly tames another task

perpetual observer

he dreams a better mousetrap and

electric coffee server

the world’s fornever grateful for

his fealty to the cause

of stretching human boundaries

through scientific laws

he never tires, never fades

he surely never quits

here sits the intellectual man

and sits and sits and sits

~

– 1983

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Threat Level Revised to ‘Hot Paisley’

GLOBAL THREAT LEVEL:

HOT PAISLEY

paisley
Please be advised that a recent spike
in the
conflict propensity index has
triggered an elevation of the current
Global Threat Level to Hot Paisley.

This condition will continue for the next
30 days, but may be revised at any time.

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Hello? This is Us.

Below is the image featured on a plaque installed on both the Pioneer 10 and Pioneer 11 space probes launched in 1972 and 1973, respectively. It is intended to be our introduction to other intelligent life in the galaxy — should it eventually be found by some deep space traveler or interstellar trash collector.

GPN-2000-001623-500pxSome have questioned the wisdom of sending this kind of information into space; explaining how to get to where we are; how we think; and how nice ’n’ juicy we look.

Realistically, though, this is much less of a concern than the programming we’ve been blasting out into the universe for years now. The aliens, if any, in the 70 Virginus star system (58 light years out) could be watching I love Lucy right now — but, unlike us, they wouldn’t have to watch it in re-runs!

An explanation of the plaque by NASA:

“The Pioneer F spacecraft, destined to be the first human made object to escape from the solar system into interstellar space, carries this pictorial plaque. It is designed to show scientifically educated inhabitants of some other star system, who might intercept it millions of years from now, when Pioneer was launched, from where, and by what kind of beings (With the hope that they would not invade Earth). The design is etched into a 6 inch by 9 inch gold-anodized aluminum plate, attached to the spacecraft’s attenna support struts in a position to help shield it from erosion by interstellar dust. The radiating lines at left represents the positions of 14 pulsars, a cosmic source of radio energy, arranged to indicate our sun as the home star of our civilization. The “1-” symbols at the ends of the lines are binary numbers that represent the frequencies of these pulsars at the time of launch of Pioneer F relative of that to the hydrogen atom shown at the upper left with a “1” unity symbol. The hydrogen atom is thus used as a “universal clock,” and the regular decrease in the frequencies of the pulsars will enable another civilization to determine the time that has elapsed since Pioneer F was launched. The hydrogen is also used as a “universal yardstick” for sizing the human figures and outline of the spacecraft shown on the right. The hydrogen wavelength, about 8 inches, multiplied by the binary number representing “8” shown next to the woman gives her height, 64 inches. The figures represent the type of creature that created Pioneer. The man’s hand is raised in a gesture of good will. Across the bottom are the planets, ranging outward from the Sun, with the spacecraft trajectory arching away from Earth, passing Mars, and swinging by Jupiter.” Source: http://grin.hq.nasa.gov/ABSTRACTS/GPN-2000-001623.html

Another interesting about the Pioneer missions is that the craft have unexpectedly started slowing down.
More on that later…

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